Violent Acres

It seems to me that people who read my stuff very often miss the point I was attempting to convey. Rest assured that I do not blame my average reader for this. I blame myself. If I had any writing talent, I would be able to articulate my perspective more clearly and concisely. But I don’t, so I don’t.

For example, when I wrote my article about Dating, a lot of people concluded that my motivation in writing that was to show off and/or justify my immaturity. Some even went so far as to say that I was ‘what’s wrong with dating these days’ and I was personally responsible for ruining society. I find these accusations exasperating.

First of all, I cannot be ‘what’s wrong with dating these days’ simply because I no longer date. How can I ruin dating for everyone when I’ve been married for years? I’m not even part of the scene anymore! It makes no sense.

Also, I find it hard to believe that when I bought myself flowers over a decade ago it ruined society. How powerful would I have to be that a single purchase of mine was enough to change the course human history? The fact that people even suggest such ridiculous notions makes my head hurt. One guy even claimed that girls who did the things I described would eventually become old ladies who blow up buildings in order to impress their husbands. Has this ever happened in history? I mean, I’ve met many girls who make a habit of casually mentioning to their boyfriends that some guy flirted with them at a coffee shop, but I’ve never read a newspaper article about an old lady blowing up a building in order to get more attention from her husband. Yet, people read my stuff and invent asinine notions like this in an attempt to connect dots that aren’t even on the same page.

The lack of reasoning skills in today’s youth fucking frightens me.

But anyway, in the midst of all this hysterical insanity, I came across a post from a reader who totally understood what I was trying to say. While reading it, I found myself thinking, ‘yes, yes, yes, that’s exactly what I meant!’ The post was from this forum and is as follows:

What offends you is her frankness and how it doesn’t fit into what you think should be expected of her. The longer you refuse to see the machinery behind the behavior the more “low quality” women you’ll find populating your world. Some people want to change the game by complaining how it ought to fit their individual skills and level the playingfield in order to succeed and then there are those who take the time to learn it and master it and play the game better. This woman is doing you (and AFCs) a favor and you can’t see it because she lays out what prompts womens behavior and you simply think it shouldn’t be so. Don’t wish the game was easier, wish you were better.

All women compete and vie for attention from the time their first able to socialize at 5 years old to when they’re dying their hair at 80. How many threads on this forum have been started bemoaning the behaviors of the attention hoare? Women are socialized and aculturated to seek attention and to use it not only as a form of social proof, but as affirmation and a measure of self-worth. Furthermore, this attention seeking dynamic has a pyscho-biological foundation that’s hardwired into women. It premeates every aspect of their lives, from putting on makeup daily to not wanting her man to see her first thing in the morning. Even the most pristine and virtuous woman who’d play to this moralism is still subject to this attention dynamic - they just deny it or hide it better.

Women use attention as a weapon in combat against other women. In fact I’d say that they’re even more competitive than men in this aspect, only their battles are fought covertly in the psychological rather than overtly in the physical as men do - we’re simply too rational to notice it going on around us. They use ostracization within their peer groups to cut off a rivals access to the attention of the group. The threat of “not being your friend anymore” is a fate worse than death for a small girl and this dynamic only becomes more complex as she ages through adolescence and adulthood.

There are countless social and psychological studies that prove this attention dynamic. To ignore this fact or to say it’s immature for a woman to place a high value on the attention of men based on one version of one moral set only denies reality while hoping it would change, and outright promotes an AFC ideology. A primary reason AFCs suffer as they do is because they too readily believe the hypocrisy that the game ought to moralistically change in their favor; and all they do is set themeslves up for disappointment and desperation when women say one thing and behave in contradiction. They all too readily give away their attentions wholesale, rather than seeing it as something necessary to mete out, and therefore make their attentions worthless. This woman is trying to help chumps see what’s genuinely prompting their behavior and you want to tar her as “low quality” because she is? All this is is a pathetic AFC rationalization - if she wont play my game she’s worthless.

Wake up children! See the Matrix for what it is, stop whining about how women wont play fair and learn to play better.”

For the record, I didn’t edit or change that post in any way because, let’s face it, I cannot edit my own stuff with any skill or dexterity.

But still, this guy hits on all my key points….even though I have no fucking idea what an ‘AFC’ is.

I especially like what he said about morality being subjective because he is 100% correct. Morals blend and change depending on the period in time, the culture, or even the individual. A lot of people right now seem to think that it’s morally wrong to manipulate people. I disagree. Personally, I only think it’s wrong to manipulate people sometimes.

For example, I think it’s morally wrong to manipulate a small child into having sex with you.

I do not think it’s morally wrong to manipulate an employer into giving you a job or even a raise.

When I dated Jack, I did not force him to do anything that he wouldn’t have done eventually anyway. Let’s face it: if he didn’t like me, he would not have dated me. Period. No amount of flower buying would have convinced him otherwise. The only thing I did was give Jack incentive to do what he was already going to do…..quicker. Furthermore, there was no malicious intent in my actions. My main motivation was curiosity. I did not want to hurt Jack or make him miserable. I wanted to date the guy!

Was I immature in my actions? Sure, absolutely. But people who refuse to examine and understand their past indiscretions or, even worse, deny that they ever happened in the first place are doomed to constantly repeat their mistakes. Those who claim perfection embrace a lie.

But once again, this guy says it better:

“They are ALL the wrong type of woman and they are ALL the right type. The whole point of my post was that this moral relativism isn’t absolute. If a woman sees eye to eye with you then she’s the RIGHT type, and if not, she shatters your very subjective interpretation of what’s moral or ethical and you necessarily have to demonize her by branding her a low quality, drama queen, attention hoar who should play by the rules you think everyone else should.

This is what happens when people’s ego-investments are challenged and they can’t accept that their usual rationalizations wont jive with what they’re being presented with. It’s impossible to talk to people when their own egos and insecurities just get in the way of understanding, but what’s really difficult is when they wear them as a badge of honor in the guise of some moral superiority.

Pre-arranged marriages are a norm in many different cultures and the idea of not marrying who your parents choose for you is considered immoral. A woman not covered head to toe in a burka and walking 8 paces behind her husband is immoral in other cultures. Your own interpretation of what comprises morality is NOT unique - but it’s the underlying mechanics and motivations of behavior that is universal and when it’s presented to you in it’s rawest form (such as this article) you find it offensive because it doesn’t match what your silly binary mentality tells you thing ‘ought’ to be.”

Anyway, I was pleased to read this, so I thought I’d share. If you want to read more about this guy, his forum profile thingy is here. I read through some of his older posts and was immediately impressed. This guy has got a pretty good understanding of women and what makes them tick.

PS: I think he spells a lot of words wrong because the forum where he’s posting doesn’t allow the use of naughty words.

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