I used to work with a woman who was a very lithe 97lbs. Every day for lunch, she’d down a diet pepsi or two with her meal. Because of this, rumors started spreading that she was trying to take off a few pounds and possibly even had an eating disorder. One day, one of my fat tacky co-workers just came right out and asked her:

“Corrine, you’re so skinny. Why the heck do you think you need to drink diet pepsi?”

“Um, I don’t drink it because I have to. I drink it because I like the taste.”

This brings me to a pet peeve of mine: People that assume that if you drink something diet, you are trying to lose weight. I am so sick of those tired, cliché jokes where people pick people on a guy who goes to a fast food restaurant and orders a value meal only to wash it down with diet. The next person who utters the phrase ‘It’s not like the diet drink cancels out the French fries, har, har, har!’ is getting the piss slapped out of them.

Ever stop to think the guy just likes the taste of diet?

Personally, I can’t stand the taste of regular soda. It’s too fucking sugary. Also, when I decide to treat myself to junk food I enjoy eating my calories as opposed to drinking them.

One afternoon I was sitting in the park drinking a protein drink when a perfect fucking stranger came up to me and said, “You really don’t need to drink things like that. You’re small enough as it is.”

Annoyed by his rudeness, I shot back, “Ever stop to think the reason I’m so small is because I drink stuff like this?”

“Oh, I don’t believe that….” he says.

“Well, it’s true. So how about you mind your own fucking business?” I replied.

In short, not everyone who drinks diet is trying to lose weight. Perhaps they are trying to maintain their current weight or maybe they just prefer the taste. Either way, no one needs the anti diet patrol policing what people put in their cups. Besides, if people paid as much attention to what goes down their gullet as they do everyone else’s they wouldn’t be such chubby bastards.