Violent Acres

Dear Andrew:

Happy birthday! I hope your day is going well and you get all the things you were wishing for. I miss you terribly and think about you often.

Just yesterday, I was looking back on the times when you were just a toddler. You had such a guilty conscience! I rarely had to punish you; you punished yourself. For example, I would be in the kitchen preparing dinner or mopping the floor when it would occur to me you were being a bit too quiet for comfort. So, I would stop what I was doing to check on you. Sometimes I would find you in your time-out spot, facing the wall.

Confused, I would ask, “Andy, what are you doing?”

You would reply, “I’m in a time-out.”

Even more confused, I would say, “Who put you in a time-out?”

“I did.”

“Why did you do that?”

“Because I touched Anna’s toys when she asked me not to.”

At this point, I would stutter and stammer and finally say, “Uh…..good….I guess….I mean….you do need to learn to respect other people’s property.”

Then, I’d wait a couple of seconds before I’d announce that you were finished. You know, to make it look good.

With most kids, I have to catch them in the act of misbehaving. Not with you, though. You were always quick to rat yourself out. The guilt and remorse on your face after you, say, hit one of your playmates was so prominent that it broke my heart a couple of times. Every time your actions caused someone to cry, you’d cry with them, horrified by the realization that something you did caused another sadness or pain.

I guess the point I’m trying to make here is that even as a small child, you’ve always had a strong moral code. No one ever had to teach the difference between right and wrong, you were so in tune with the needs of others, that you picked it all up on your own. I hope now that you’re getting older, you are retaining your strong ethics and you hold fast to your ideologies even when it seems the rest of the world is turning a blind eye.

Also, I hope you’ve learn to forgive yourself a little quicker. We all make mistakes, but punishing yourself too much helps no one. This is not to say that you should not repent your shortcomings. I am merely saying your failings should be kept in perspective because, oh boy, do you sometimes have a tendency to overdo it! (You’d sit in a time-out all day if I let you! And over what? Touching a toy!)

No letter would be complete without all of my usual lectures, but since it’s your birthday, I’ll try to shorten them up a bit: Keep up with your studies. Try not to bug your sister so much. Be nice to your friends and your family. And always, always, always, remember how proud I am of you.

Love always,
V

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