To be honest, if I had foreseen the brouhaha this and this would cause, I might have skipped writing them. Not because I shy away from a good bitch fest, mind you. But merely because I knew I’d end up reading the same OBVIOUS questions over and over again and if there’s one thing I hate, it’s answering obvious fucking questions.

But here I am, answering questions so ridiculously self-evident that it makes me cry overly dramatic tears for humanity to realize people out there really don’t seem to know the answer to them. Oh, how I weep!

Here goes:

“Well, exactly how much money do you think it takes to raise a child?”

Make no mistake about this question, people. It is not an honest question. This one is a trick. The people who ask this question are merely attempting to force you into coming up with some arbitrary number which they can turn around on you while they shriek, “See! You are trying to exclude the people who make less than $200 a year!”

The fact of the matter is each family is different. There are people in this world that can’t live on less than $5,000 a day. Then, there are people who can and have lived on peanuts. The personal comfort zones of a family are none of my business as long as they get the job done.

We’re talking about your kids, here, people! Feed them! I don’t care if you have to grow your own food to offset costs. I don’t care if you have to go hunting every weekend to provide some meat. Go fishing! Trader Joe’s is not the only place in the world where you can get healthy food, you know. Learn to fucking sew, for Christ sakes! I’m sure you could theoretically save a bundle if you made your own clothing. Yeah, your kids might look a little dweeby, but at least you have provided for them. At least they see you working hard to give them the basic necessities. At least they will grow up to respect you.

Even people living below the poverty level seem to have a television in this country. You cannot eat a television. Get rid of it. Take your children to the library instead. It’s fucking free and much better for their intellectual growth than endless hours of spongebob fucking squarepants.

Do you live in an area with a high cost of living? MOVE! These are your kids, people! Providing for them should trump your desire to live in LA!

I guess what I’m trying to tell you is its not impossible for someone to take care of their children, if they want to bad enough. Whether it means religiously clipping coupons to save a couple of dollars or toiling in a garden in your back yard, there are ways to take care of children that don’t cost a lot of money.

After all, cavemen figured it out. Why can’t you?

“Well who is supposed to take care of the children while the Mother is away at work?”

I don’t know….how about the Father? What’s wrong with him? Is there any reason at all a Mother couldn’t stay at home during the day with the kids and then work nights after the Father came home? Sure, that cuts the time the ‘whole family’ is together down to just the weekends, but at least there is food on the table. Also, it wouldn’t last forever. Soon, the kids would be in school and the parent on the night shift could switch to days.

On the upside, perhaps children will develop a quicker and stronger bond with a Dad who is actively participating in their upbringing. Ever think of that?

“Well, what about single parents? Or widows? Or families where someone got sick or hurt?”

It pisses me off that I am going to have to do something as pretentious and annoying as quoting myself, but here it is.

I specifically fucking said:

I do realize that accidents happen and sometimes you are faced with a burden that you are not quite ready for. Also, tragedies in life do sometimes occur and a once ideal situation can be destroyed in the event of sickness, death, etc. Of course, as a parent, it is your job to prepare as much as you possibly can for these tragedies, but no one is perfect. In cases like these, receiving a helping hand from society is not a shameful act. I am not referring to you as child abusers in this scenario.

Yes, I support helping a single parent financially by helping her pay for her childcare. No, I don’t think she should get a free pass to neglect her children because she has poor taste in men.

Yes, I realize that sometimes people die and other times people get hurt. Yes, I realize there are hardworking people out there who honestly just need a little leg up. Of course I support helping them.

But you want to know what I think is the real tragedy?

Those people, those honest to goodness hardworking people who would voluntarily work themselves to death to take care of their children, are currently being roped in with the lazy bums of this world should they ever get desperate enough to swallow their pride and ask for help. I’m betting it absolutely destroys their dignity and sense of self worth to stand in line next to a Teen Mom with a drug problem and 5 kids who hasn’t seen any of her baby’s Daddies in months.

It disgusts me that most of the people who really need and deserve help don’t ask for it because they can’t stand the shame of being classified in with the droves of losers and perpetual charity cases that currently inhabit this great country of ours. There is no greater evidence of the failure of the welfare system than that.

Anyway, a chick over at some website wrote a couple of posts about this issue located here and here. She had the audacity to suggest that should a tragedy ever befall her family, she would do what she had to do to take care of her kids, and the mommybloggers descended on her in droves making catty comments and mocking her confidence in her ability to provide for her kids at any cost.

Because I’m in a sour mood, I want you guys to do me a favor. Head on over to her site and let her know in her comments section that embracing her role as provider in her children’s lives does not make her an ignorant, heartless, social snob. It makes her a good parent. (Even if she is a mommyblogger.)

Thanks in advance, guys.