Violent Acres

I really didn’t want to make a ‘Best of’ page, but it was requested so often that I felt I had to just to shut people up. None of the following articles are personal favorites of mine (Mainly because I don’t like a single goddamn thing I’ve ever written), but they gained the most page views and created a ton of hype. To spice things up a little, I added a few comments to each piece and/or speculated on why I think they seem to be the fan favorites.

You Can Learn a Lot From a Rich Girl
The Mommybloggers like to steal the credit for my site becoming popular, but the truth is I didn’t start really getting traffic until I wrote this. This article (along with the follow up) made it to the main page of digg, reddit (#1 spot), delicious, and popurls all at once. It also put me on the alexa ‘Movers and Shakers’ list and got me over 110,000 unique visitors in a single day.

What Would Happen if You Bought 25 Bottles of Nyquil?
Probably the most popular thing I’ve written to date. Also proof that I have entirely too much time on my hands.

Two Phrases That Destroyed American Culture
The wage slaves of the world particularly liked this one.

How To Fight
This one kind of bombed on digg, but did fairly well on reddit. It made it to #1 and stayed there for a couple of days. This article also brings in the most google searches. I guess there are a lot of dorks out there searching for boxing tips.

It Take Two Parents to Raise a Successful, Functioning Child
You would have thought I pissed in the feminist’s cheerios when I wrote this. Apparently, this article is also incredibly insulting to gay parents. Whatever.

Love, Shame, and the Human Pecking Order
Out of all the articles I’ve written, I probably got slammed the most after writing this one. Someone actually described me as a ‘monster’ after reading it.

How to be a Girl Bully
Middle School Nostalgia.

Dating is Competitive Manipulation
A lot of ‘player’ websites took this and ran with it.

Most People Are Depressed for a Very Good Reason
Someone read this and commented, “This Grandma fucking rules.” I concur.

How to Amaze Your Friends and Family With Your Eerily Accurate Psychic Readings
Or: Why Sylvia Browne is My Hero

If You’re Functioning, You’re Not an Alcoholic
This was intended to be a joke, but a lot of people didn’t get it. Either subtly isn’t my strong point or I’m surrounded by fucking morons.

Idiocy is Gender Neutral
I’m not really sure why this article got so popular. It’s really not that well thought out.

American’s Aren’t Fat Because They Lack Willpower, They’re Fat Because They’re Broke
After I wrote this, a lot of people freaked out and starting screeching, “Then how come homeless people aren’t fat! They’re poor!” They obviously missed the point. There is a difference between being ‘broke’ and being ‘poor.’ Poor people never really had any money in the first place. Broke people had money once, but they just chose to blow it all on stupid shit as opposed to their health.

I’m Sick of Political Correctness
I said nigger. People got mad.

A Peaceful Marriage is Not Always 50/50
I explain how women who expect men to split the household chores 50/50 are just begging for a divorce.

It is Less Painful To Embrace Defeat Rather Than Cross the DMV
My humiliation is your entertainment.

The Government Who Cried Wolf
My frustration with politics and the media becomes a very melodramatic anti-lying article.

Four Rookie Mistakes People Make That Keep Them Poor
Financial advice that pregnant college students really didn’t want to read.

Diary of a Teenage Runaway
I fucked around with this story a bit. I switched around tenses and wrote in first person and threw in some symbolism…just to see if I could make it all work together. If you ask me, the end result came out pretty lackluster, but everyone else seemed intrigued. The sad part is, as far as stories about my Mother go, this one is probably on the tame side.

Pet Peeve: Tailgaters
Have you ever experiences road rage via the Internet? I have.

How Feminism Ruined My Sex Life
Slap your girlfriend around! She likes it!

How the Me-Generation Ruined Modern Conversation
AOL and self esteem focused parenting are two culprits.

If You Don’t Have the Balls to Be Hated, Then You Don’t Deserve to be Loved
The Internet is boring. This was my attempt to make it less so.

When it Comes to Money, Don’t Play Nice
I’m a real bitch when it comes to buying and selling real estate.

Don’t Treat Your Employers Better Than They Treat You
The line about making it taboo to steal? It was a joke, people! A JOKE!

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