Violent Acres

OK, look. I realize Ryan Holiday’s moronic little post about slow drivers was his poorly executed way of making some grand statement about mediocrity and how wrong it is for some people to drag others down to their level and blah, blah, blah.

However, the problem with people like Ryan Holiday is they seem to think everything they say is some sort of ‘grand statement.’ It’s almost as if they sincerely believe that no one else on the planet has ever sat down and considered the intricacies of modern society or tried to apply them to their personal life. I hate to say it, but no matter what your personality, you’ve been done. This little includes me, too. I am fully aware that somewhere out there, someone has said everything that I’ve said…only better. I’ll never be original and neither will Ryan Holiday. So, Ryan Holiday should grab himself some Nietzsche and shut the fuck up already because he’s hardly revolutionary.

Unless, of course, you think blogs posts containing nothing more than 50 Cent quotes are like, totally innovative. If that’s the case, Ryan Holiday is the next fucking Socrates.

Most of all, I balk at the theory that people who drive slower are somehow more mediocre than their speeding counterparts. Just because you’re not cruising along at a swift 80 miles per hour doesn’t mean you’re some hapless individual with nothing important to do. Maybe you can’t afford a speeding ticket. Maybe your car suddenly started making this funny sound and you’re desperately trying to move over, but the aggressive assholes riding your ass are making this dangerous. Or, maybe, just maybe, you’ve grown up and learned to manage your time a little better, thus rendering your need to speed obsolete.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have gotten annoyed with dumbass drivers myself. The keyword being: Annoyed. However, I have never become enraged to the point where my friends have said to me, “Dude, calm down.” For one thing, it’s pointless. Giving myself a coronary isn’t going to make Mr. Dumbass Driver do what I want him to do. I cannot control other people. The only thing I can control is my reaction to the other people. Since punching my steering wheel will not change my situation, I will instead do the single thing that will cause me the least amount of stress: I will start leaving with plenty of time to spare.

Other people don’t make you mad. You make yourself mad. People don’t make you late. You make yourself late via your own poor planning. People don’t make you mediocre. You make yourself mediocre by refusing to grow up and take responsibility for your own choices. A truly superior person doesn’t throw a spoiled, baby fit when things don’t go his way. Instead, he does a bit of problem solving until he figures out exactly what he is capable of changing to produce more optimal results. It’s fucking common sense, people. Furthermore, making a conscious, deliberate decision not to sweat the small stuff in life will do wonders for your blood pressure.

With that said, it is time for me to respond to Ryan Holiday’s “rebuttal.”

He writes:

your readers are so worthless

Better worthless readers than no readers.

Maturity though–that’s being a shrew who sits at a computer, drums up discussion then refuses to take part in it because she’s too good for it.

Yes, yes, yes. I’ve heard it all before. I do not allow comments, so this must mean I’m ‘too good’ to take part in a discussion. Oddly enough, it kinda sorta feels like I’m taking part in a discussion right now, but that’s neither here nor there.

Ryan, all we need now is some hysterical ranting about how I’m a coward because I write anonymously followed up by a heartwarming picture of your family and you’re officially an Internet cliché. Congratulations.

And you pull in $25 dollars a week from blogads by screaming Bill O’Reilly like headlines that appeal to the latent misogynists at Digg and the 4th Wavers at Gawker

So cute of you to be jealous about the money I’m making from blogads. I’d tell you how much I’m making from google, feedburner, and text link ads, but I’m afraid you’d end up crying yourself to sleep at night clutching a teddy bear.

Oh, and guess what? I don’t have to split any of it with Tucker Max.

By the way, how much did your site make last month? I hear the Rudius writers are getting paid like crap and that’s why they’ve been dropping like flies lately. Is it true that the second most popular site in the entire network was earning its author less than $100 a month?

But again, I really appreciate all 700 people you sent my way.

Nice of you to stop counting around 3pm the day I posted your link. How many hits did you end up with anyway? According to my feedburner, I sent you a couple of thousand. Be honest, Ryan. My puny little site that didn’t even exist a year ago most likely sent you more traffic in a day than you’ve probably gotten via Tucker Max’s sidebar links in the past 6 months.

By the way, how’s his television show coming along again? Oh, canceled before it even made it to production? Shocking. How do you suppose you’re going to spin that into a positive, Mr. PR genius?

By the way, I’d like to thank you for the return traffic…but it doesn’t look like I got any. Again, according to my feedburner, you didn’t even make into my top 25 of site referrers. Yesterday, more people found my site by searching for the letter ‘T’ than came from Ryanholiday.net.

I don’t know about you, but that seems pretty fucking mediocre to me.

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