Violent Acres

Yesterday I was chatting with a guy from Romania. The conversation was a little too stilted for my taste, but I suppose it was pleasant enough.

Politely, I inquired, “So how do you like living in America?”

“The only thing I don’t like about America,” the gentleman assured me, “Is how harsh they are with peedofiles.”

No, that is not a typo. He pronounced the word ‘pedophile’ exactly like that. Peedofile.

“Is that so?” I asked, preparing myself for a potentially interesting and lively debate.

“Yes,” he answered, “I mean it’s not like you’re trying to hurt the keeds! Sometimes you just want to have fun!”

There was a very long and very awkward pause. Then, “Why are you laughing? I love keeds!”

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