Quick and Easy Child Support Reform

November 28th, 2007.

My feelings about the current child support system have been well documented. However, I have never stated how much, specifically, I think a woman is entitled to receive if I were given the power to re-work the system. Let me put everyone’s mind at ease now, by saying:

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NOTHING.

Yes, you read that right. Women (Or men, for that matter) are not entitled to one red cent of their partner’s money, period. Whether or not a child has resulted from their union is irrelevant. After all, if you cannot afford to provide for a child on your own, you have no business raising one.

For everyone woman filing for child support while simultaneously screeching about what she’s entitled to, I’d like to see a judge asking her, “What would you do if your ex-husband died?”

If her answer is, “Durr, my child would starve and die,” then she should immediately lose her shot at custody.

Financial security should be the number one thing a court system looks at when deciding child custody cases. If one parent cannot provide food, shelter and basic necessities for her progeny without a paycheck from the other, then someone needs to lose their parental rights.

In an ideal world, the Father wouldn’t need to supplement his ex-wives lack of income because he would be caring for his children an equal amount of the time. He would need his money to provide for his child in his home. He would need to keep clothing on their backs, food in their bellies, and treat them to a trip to the zoo on weekends. Any money he had left over would, of course, be socked away in a private bank account that he set up so he can contribute to his child’s college education. Not a fucking dime of it would be handed over to his ex because it would be her (not his) responsibility to provide those same things for her child when the child is at her home.

The truth of the matter is most men do not mind providing for their children and I am willing to bet if they were given a choice in how their money was spent, they’d probably shell out even more than what was required. What men have a strong aversion to paying, on the other hand, is Mother Support. It’s pretty fucking hard not to get bitter about the $2000 a month you’re paying when your kid shows up for biweekly visits in a pair of pants that are 2 inches too short and in desperate need of a haircut…while his Mother is sporting a new pair of fake boobs.

The only time a parent should be required to pay child support is if they opt out of the child’s life completely. And even then, the money should not be turned over to the other parent to spend willy-nilly. Instead, it should all go into a bank account and become available on the child’s 18th birthday. Then, someone can sit him down and say, “Hey, I know your Dad wasn’t around much. But he loved you very much and that’s why he started this bank account.” Hopefully, money can soften the blow for the poor kid who actually did get stuck with a deadbeat Father.

In closing, any man who sincerely wants to remain an active and frequent part of his child’s life is, by definition, not a deadbeat. Just because he grinds his teeth at the thought of turning over half of his paycheck to be mismanaged by a lazy woman who has made it her life mission to screw him over doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his kid. On the contrary, it may just mean he prefers that his money is actually used to benefit said kid as opposed to fulfilling every ridiculous whim his ex desires.

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