Brother’s Girlfriend: I often wonder what I’d do if there was an apocalypse. Then I realize I’d never end up being one of the survivors, so it doesn’t matter.

Brother: Yeah, you’d never survive.

V: I still say dogs would be very useful in the event of a plague, assuming they went unaffected.

Brother: Yeah, and remember Terminator 2? They used dogs to sniff out the terminators.

Husband: Yeah, but that was stupid. They should have just used metal detectors.

Brother: Metal detectors would be pretty fucking useless with everyone carrying around a bunch of heavy weaponry.

Husband: So you put your gun down, walk through the metal detector, and pick your gun back up. No big deal.

Brother: Are you telling me that in a post apocalyptic war you’d be willing to put your gun down for any reason?

Husband: Yeah.

Brother: Fuck you, I’d never put my gun down. I’d sleep with my gun. I’d have sex with my gun. I’d try to have little gun babies with my gun just to get more ammo.

V: Considering how passionate you seem about this, I’m amazed that you don’t own a gun now.

Brother: I know. I should probably get one. Just to make sure I can fit my dick in the barrel.