Violent Acres

Ever see a fat working dog? I see them all the time. Beautiful capable German Shepherds, tenacious floppy eared beagles, insanely intelligent border collies all with fat bellies swinging to and fro, chins doubling and tripling up underneath their wrinkled snouts, little legs buried under mounds of fat. Dogs like these were born and bred to do a particular job, but instead were made into simple family pets. If you talk to their owners, they will describe their pets as fat, happy, and spoiled. But if you ask me, they all look a little sad.

Much like humans, dogs tend to become depressed when they fail to live up to their full potential.

Forcing obesity on a dog is just as bad as forcing obesity on a child. You are robbing them of so much. It is no cuter to watch a dog struggle to his feet just to make it to his food bowl than it is to see a child stranded on his living room couch in the summertime, physically unable to run, jump and play with his fellow peers.

The Fat Acceptance Movement is a tragedy. What’s more is it’s a tragedy that is going to encourage people down self destructive paths at best and into early graves at worst. Kate Harding and Joy Nash, forerunners in the Fat Acceptance Movement, ought to be ashamed. And not because the size of their thighs is about double the size of my waist, either. On the contrary, they should be ashamed because they are defeatist whiners whose main message seems to be, “If we can’t do it, no one can!”

Kate Harding zealously claims that, “Diets don’t work. No, really, not even if you don’t call them diets. If you want to tell me about how YOUR diet totally worked, do me a favor and wait until you’ve kept all the weight off for five years. Not one year, not four years, five years. And if you’ve kept it off for that long, congratulations. You’re literally a freak of nature.”

Well, I guess I happen to be a freak of nature then because I’ve done it. Not only that, but the friend who inspired me towards weight loss in the first place apparently is a bigger freak of nature than me according to Kate ‘I’m-not-a-scientist-but-I-play-one-on-the-Internet’ Harding. She lost 110lbs directly out of High School and 11 years later works as a very reputable personal trainer. She also looks fantastic.

Two freaks of nature within a 10 miles radius! What are the odds?

I’m not going to fault the Kate Hardings and Joy Nashs of the world for wanting to love the body they’re in. If they choose to be fat and out of shape, that’s their business and I have absolutely no place to judge. If a half gallon of ice cream before bed satisfies them more than a bike ride down a beautiful country road, then they can eat the fuck up for all I care. I’ll pass them a fork with a smile on my face because ultimately, the longevity and quality of their life doesn’t mean jack shit to me.

No one should hate themselves for being fat. They should hate themselves for being failures. What is despicable about Nash and Harding is the ‘I can’t’ attitude they’re preaching. In a world where we’ve landed on the moon, tamed the beast, invented the wheel, cured disease, and nearly doubled our average lifespan, the idea that it’s impossible to lose 20 or even 100lbs is absolutely laughable. Fat Acceptance Forum denizens really need to quit telling people what they can and can’t do.

My message to anyone interested in joining the Fat Acceptance Movement is simple:

Quit making excuses! Quit telling me what you can’t do! You’re a human being! You’re capable, intelligent, and strong! You are a warrior! You can do whatever the fuck you want! Fuck Kate Harding and anyone like her. People like that don’t want you to succeed because it emphasizes their failures.

As most of the long time readers of my site know, I have lost a pretty significant amount of weight. (Yes, more than 5 years ago!) However, unlike most people, the reasons behind my weight loss goals had nothing to do with society and the subjective idea of personal beauty.

Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I generally don’t give a shit what ‘society’ thinks of me. I like not fitting in. I’ve never craved to be part of a group. I’m not fashion conscious and I do not keep up on the latest trends. I didn’t lose weight with the misguided idea that a smaller me would result in instant popularity or a slew of new boyfriends. Hell, when I was heavy, I was probably more popular than I am now. Not only that, but I was overweight when I met my husband, so obviously my fatness didn’t slow down my dating life.

For me, it was strictly a matter of mobility.

Life is hard when you’re fat. Getting out of bed is hard. Standing up is hard. Bending over to tie your shoes, taking the trashcans to the curb, shaving your legs, having sex, getting in and out of your car is all significantly more difficult when you’re overweight. If you’re not a naturally lazy person, being fat will make you lazy considering that every gesture, every action, every bit of movement will tire you out that much quicker. I remember being fat and waking up, eating breakfast, and lazing around on my couch watching TV. After 2 hours of this, I would need a nap. Merely sitting up in front of a television made me tired! After 2 hours!

Ever come out of a store to find that someone parked their car a little too close to yours? If you’re thin, this is no big deal. It’s a fucking catastrophe when you’re fat.

Now that I’m thin, I get more things done. I can spend the entire day running around only to come home feeling energized. I can run, I can skip, and I can stretch and glide. I don’t have to spend 30 minutes mentally preparing myself to walk outside and get the mail. The couple of steps to the mailbox aren’t as intimidating when I’m not carrying the equivalent of a 6 year old child on my back.

“But our self esteem is in Jeopardy!” the Fat Acceptance Movement people sniff, “People make fun of us!”

Cry me a fucking river. Just because someone mooed at you yesterday when you walked across the street doesn’t mean you get to put a patent on victimhood. You don’t think skinny people ever get made fun of? You don’t think people whisper about them behind their hands or constantly speculate on whether or not they’re anorexic? You don’t think they blush a little when they get up from a meal to use the restroom after they hear you quietly insist to the table that they’re heading there to puke? No one ever calls their bodies disgusting or bony or unhealthy? No one ever laughs and makes jokes about their bodies resembling little boys? Please.

Personally, I get way more flack for being thin than I ever did when I was overweight. In fact, every other weekend, my Mother-in-law attempts to leave a box of pop tarts and Hi-C in my kitchen for me. Pop tarts! I wouldn’t feed a pop tart to a homeless man; that shit is poison. Not only that, but this very same woman had gastric bypass surgery in order to lose 220lbs herself. My theory has always been that you know someone has issues with food if they can’t be trusted with a stomach, so she, of all people, should be a bit more sympathetic to my dietary needs. Yet every time she leaves my house, the pop tarts and juice remain. Simply because she cannot fathom how someone could lose weight without butchering their innards or starving themselves.

(For the record, I generally eat 6-9 times a day. My life is one great, big snack. I just don’t eat garbage. )

So, if you’re fat and people make fun of you, suck it up and join the club. Everyone gets made fun of. Everyone is the object of ridicule and disgust. Grow up and get over it already.

Just recently, Joy Nash made a video entitled ‘Totally Awesome.’ Check it out here.

(Did you watch the video? Good, because if you haven’t, you probably won’t understand what I’m about to bitch about and I really don’t want to write the dialogue for you.)

OK, speaking as someone with both abs and tits, I have to ask: Joy? Is that the truth? Do you feel ‘totally awesome’ about your gigantic tits? Seriously? No complaints whatsoever?

You fucking liar. What about the back pain? What about the constant annoyance with finding a bra that doesn’t also double as an animal harness? What about the problems finding clothes or the difficulty standing up straight after bending over? What about the poor posture? The stress on your joints? The pain, the excruciating pain that accompanies running even a short distance? Ugh, what about the sweat that tends to accumulate underneath? That sticky feeling in the summer time isn’t even worth a minor complaint?

You’re full of shit and you know it. Having abs is totally awesome. Having gigantic bags of sweaty flesh painfully attached to your chest is not. Quit feeding people a bunch of bullshit.

The fact of the matter is human beings crave progress. Part of the reason people are suffering from depression right now likely has little to do with the chemicals in their brains and more to do with the fact that they’ve quit making progress. No one is happy living a life of constant stagnation.

Furthermore, there is more to life than financial progress. While I’m not denying that getting a raise or scoring a job promotion is not deeply satisfying in itself, it is not the only path toward self improvement. One also needs to make spiritual progress, mental progress, and yes, physical progress. I’ll never be a fan of losing weight for the express purpose of fitting into a size 2 pair of jeans with the hopes of gaining instant popularity. However, losing weight because you someday want to climb a mountain is something I can applaud.

Without physical progress, human beings are nothing more than dogs without jobs to do. You may appear to be fat, spoiled and happy. But you and I both know you’re nothing more than a bored, angry, fat bitch.

Similar Articles

• Do Me a Favor and Leave Kate Harding Alone
• Pet Peeve #6: People Who Assume I Drink Diet Because I Think I’m Fat
• What To Do About a Fat Spouse
• Me So Bipolar
• Americans Aren’t Fat Because They Lack Willpower; They’re Fat Because They’re Broke