Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

Natural Selection?

Wednesday, February 18th, 2009

Brother: V, would you ever willingly give birth to a downs baby?
V: No way in Hell.
Brother: [to husband] What about you? Would you want her to have a downs baby?
Husband: Not a chance. No way, I couldn’t deal with that shit.
V: [to brother] Would YOU want your girlfriend to have a downs baby?
Brother: Fuck no!!!
V: [...]

What I Think About Extremejohn.com

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

Awhile back ago, I signed up on reviewme.com for a lark. I figured most of the people who paid for other sites to review them expected positive reviews or, in the very least, constructive criticism. However, I thought it would be absolutely hysterical for someone to expect that from me only to publicly get ripped [...]

How I Learned to Despise Christians

Wednesday, January 21st, 2009

The first thing I thought when I saw him was: I bet he’s a vegetarian.
He had all the telltale signs. Tall and lanky. Overgrown, curly gray hair. Knitted mittens. Plaid hat with ear flaps. Sallow, sallow eyes. And a general air about him that said, ‘I haven’t eaten flesh in years and I’m hungry, goddammit!’
For [...]

Life Is No Fun Unless You’re Excluding Someone

Monday, January 12th, 2009

I was sitting on the couch, thumbing through a book. The children were gathered around the dining room table making signs to decorate the new fort they had built with pillows and blankets in the rec room. A voice called out to me.
“V!” it said, “Can you help us spell some words for our sign?”
“Sure, [...]

Dead Wrong Turn

Wednesday, January 7th, 2009

Guest Writer: Jim McPartland
I was heading back from Avon, CT on my way to Milford Saturday from a writers networking meeting. I was on my way to its annual Oyster Festival, an event that draws 40,000. Foghat was the free headliner. Bob ‘Jake’ McManus loved Foghat as a kid. I liked them too and it’s [...]