Archive for November, 2006

McMansions Are For McIdiots

Friday, November 10th, 2006

Is anyone else as gleefully excited by the housing bubble burst as I am? I mean far be it for me to delight in the misfortune of others, but— Ah, who am I kidding? I revel in the misfortune of others (especially if those on the receiving end are well deserved morons) and this real [...]

You Had to be There Dialogue

Friday, November 10th, 2006

  Brother: What’s in the bag? Husband: Lotion. Brother: What kind of lotion? Sex lotion? Husband: No….just regular lotion. Brother: Do you mind if I borrow some? I have a hot date tonight…with my thumb.

How ‘Lost’ is Ruining My Life

Thursday, November 9th, 2006

The television show ‘Lost’ is like heroin to me. I hate what it’s doing to my mind and my life, yet I can’t stop watching. I watched the first two seasons on dvd and it took me all of 2 and a half days. It was a ‘Lost’ bender of epic proportion and I lived [...]

Drastic Measures to Reduce Debt

Tuesday, November 7th, 2006

You. Guys. Prostitution? Is that really how you think I paid off my debt? You really need to learn to think outside of the box. Truth be told, if my father were still alive at that point, I probably would have ran home to him with bitch tears in my eyes, but he wasn’t. At [...]

The Dangers of Birth Control

Monday, November 6th, 2006

Warning on the pamphlet teaching me how to use my NuvaRing: “NuvaRing can accidently slip out of the vagina while removing a tampon, during intercourse, or straining during a bowel movement.” I’m sorry, but that’s fucking funny.