If one more person complains to me about the rising gas prices, I’m going to snap and break his fucking kneecaps.
Every morning, when I check the mail, my neighbor gives me a little wave and makes some disparaging comment about how the gas prices are killing him. And every morning, I want to ram his [...]

I am now an actress.
And now that I am an actress, I take back everything I said about celebrity worship being stupid. Please feel free to worship me at will.
Oh, I kid!
Actually, I just did the voice of Millie in Myroid’s new game. The bad news is I’m a lousy fucking actress. The good news [...]

I’m walking down the isle of a large, bright grocery store. I’m not paying much attention to my surroundings. Instead, I’m staring intently at my list. I decide to start my search in the dairy section, so I shuffle past the orange juice and the raw cookie dough in the search for eggs. Before I [...]

I woke up this afternoon and stumbled, bleary eyed, into my living room on the way to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee. Three steps into my foyer and I suddenly stopped short. For there, standing right in the middle of my living room was a strange 5 year old boy. I [...]

I don’t really write much about Paris Hilton or Brad Pitt or whoever because I care even less about their day to day lives than I do about yours. I don’t need to know what they decided to name their adopted African children, nor am I particularly concerned with how much they’ve spent on collars [...]